Phartology (re flatulence)

I've just done a long,vibrating fart in the library
silenced by a cushioned chair
YEAH !
It was warm and personalised
Snug
and shamelessly self-gratifying
like the devil's grin.

I didn't quietly rise
subtly dispersing the gas
allaying all accountability
whilst cunningly scurrying from the unsociable entity
eminating from none other than mine own anal passage;
knowing that if push came to shove
or dare I say
shit hitting the fan
I would
as convention would have it
recourse to 'Shaggy' immortalised phrasiology
'It wasn't me'

No
I did what no-one ever does when ones nasal canals
slam autoshut as a neuro muscular survival reflex when
some-one else farts. but will always do of their own
.........I inhaled incessantly .Delighting
in the uniqueness of my own stench.
A stench , yes,
but a sweet ,beautiful stench
as perfectly individual as I
unconciously manufactured by my particular choice of
foodstuffs,sauces, drinks,to my chosen degree
and processed through this biological unit that I
have honed, cleansed and modified to it's tolerance
for decades:
I, the sole conductor of it,s works. Designer
,technician and master.
My flatulence was a celebration of my engineering; my
mortality,
with my stamp.
It wore the indivisible patent of the one in a hundred
thousand quintrillion me.

And , in it's splendor
like thre light of an exploded planet in a timeless,
splaceless, though finite galaxy
It was but a humble testament to my being.

........apt that it's execution be as independant and
interdependant as an out-of-body experience......

Through sheer self indulgence my brain began
visualising the culinary goodies as presented on a
plate
as the warm, putrid gas seductively oozed around my
pelvic region
engulfing my butt cheeks like a phantom electric
cushion
and vaporised with balleric eloquence around my nose
Mmn carrots
Mmnroast potatos
..........so far
GOOOOD BOY


When I grunt
When my intestinal organs compress like a concertina
When my bum hums like a mermaid
When my sphincter vibrates live a rattlesnake,
releasing valved notes akin to a cupped trumpet in
crescendo,
rumbling my rectum
like a vast virgin plain under a charging cavalry of
horses
..........it represents a successful cycle of nature;
Position,
Mastication,
digestion,
division
absorbtion
rejection
the gentlest re-constituted excretion.

Through the air it floats
uninhibited
intermingling with yours;
his;
hers.
They form hybrids and molecularly intersperse with our
surrounding anti-mater. On a ticket of breezes they
cross seas and continents like the rainclouds they
gently odourise
like the storms they emulate
like the inimitable word of god !

In this world of excessive dysfunction it should
prompt rejoice
for it is a reminder of the omnipresent cradling of
mother nature...
She who champions providence;
whose life blood oozes
from her bulbous mineral carcus,ambrosia;
for we who are made in the image of god ;
to nourish and be cultivated,
until we return to replenish her in turn.

Insurmountably efficient;ultimately evolved
;omnipitent beyond any deity seen or unseen

The meekest belch, backfire, sneeze
and other uncontrollable functions;
yours,his, is a homage worthy of exhaultation
with the glorious fervour of'CARMINA BURANA'.
Itself a parody of life in its raptorous birth,
it's unpredictable character,
and its decayed demise. It is imodifyable,
and
whafting into the lungs of each and all it recycles
and binds us as one.
You are of me and I of you
Amen
Great is the creator who smiles through the sun
whose mood is the sea
and who moves.......
in the wind

THE END ?