Jobsworths

The day I became a wage slave was when i got this job

I used to be a ganja selling benefit claiming slob

and now i've joined the ranks of insidious wanks

who'd do anything in servitude for approval from the ranks

I work for the council

so misdemeanors I used to do

if I see you doing them

i'm telling on you

And don't try to bribe us

........................... because that's libelous

If you use the neighbour's dustbin

or your stall is over the line or there are squatters in the basement,

naughty naughty

pay the fine

or be prone to eviction

shafted by Orwelians

I'm that tenacious little bastard that keeps coming round your house repeating "what's the square root of your garden,

who's she, what's this all about

at six o clock when i knock off you can do what you like

I'dve shed the persona of little shit

for regular little shite

As i walk past the clinic there are guys shuffling like their knobs hurt

and the exit only guard stands inside the glass door being a jobsworth

I pop to the shop where the african security guard waits for black males

to wake him up so he can jigerboo (it never fails)

to pander to higher office, and even if nodody listens

a glance from top brass means he's scored by virtue of recocognition

You couldn't buy encouragement like white collar acknowledgement

how else do you climb the ladder

when you want to be pre Madonna

but to chew on dicks and pencil sticks

with cctv's on every corner

So I'm more whore than four wardens or

journalists who'd sneak in on a president and get him impeached

Nixon ; gutted toenail to head before being hung out, unhung and bleached

so i'm the hannibal lecter,

bus ticket inspector

I'm the clerk barking down the phone,

at the pensioner in debt who lives alone

The childless 'Family liason officer', who intervenes between you and yours

who extrapolates from red tape then adjudicates in the flavour of my flaws

I hit and miss

But I pursue trivia like an alpha mongoose following pheremones in a trail of ovulation piss

and hereby affirm the unspoken charter of the fellowship of jobsworths

unless i can exploit them